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Dating Advice: How to Tell How Your Date is Going

by | Dec 6, 2011 | Communication, Dating for singles, Image consulting | 0 comments

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The first clue about how well your date is going happens in the moment you first glimpse each other. Watch your date’s eyes. If your date is interested in you at first glance, you will see a flash of his or her eyebrows – a quick, almost imperceptible rising of the eyebrows that says Oh, wow, I wasn’t expecting that.

Yes, men and women both will sneak a peek at your entire physical appearance at some point during the first date. But ladies, take note: a gentleman who is interested in the potential of a long term relationship will demonstrate enough restraint to otherwise keep his eyes above the shoulders.

If the date is going well, you will find that you and your date have synchronized your body positions. Your bodies will align, turning directly toward each other, navel to navel, leaning in.

If your date is listening to you intently, his or her head will tilt in a listening position. You might see him or her unconsciously looking at your lips. That’s a sign that your date is wondering what it would feel like to kiss you.

Watch your date’s vulnerable points: the neck, wrists and ankles. Touching the neck, pushing up the sleeves to reveal the wrists and neck, and men crossing their legs with one ankle on the other knee opens the area up to show confidence, masculinity, and naughty bits. Conversely, keeping the top shirt button closed, crossed arms, and holding his/her body close, are signs of low confidence and guarded. If your date angles shoulders, feet or body towards the exit sign are signs your date is saying he looking for a way out the door.

If you and your date click, you’ll see it as much as feel it: Endorphins kick in that will add sparkle to your eyes. The eyes will dilate, the nose will flare, the skin will flush. Women might give what I call the “Princess Diana look” in which their heads are turned down slightly while their eyes look up. Women will glide their hands up and down their legs, purse their lips in what I call a “lip pump,” kick off the heel of their shoe and swing their leg. Men and women will “strike a pose,” keeping good body posture which shows off their assets. Men will pump out their chests to appear more masculine. And both sexes will groom their bodies by stroking or tossing their hair or adjusting their clothes; women might even pick lint off the man.

And here’s a very important clue that is counter-intuitive. If your date really likes you and hopes for a longer relationship, your date is going to try to behave more reserved than he or she actually feels. No big, open-faced, over-powering greeting. Instead, you’re going to see micro-gestures in the smile, little flickers of happiness.

In some ways, a date that is going badly is more readily apparent. If your date cuts the evening short, eats quickly, looks at his or her watch, or yawns, guess what? This date isn’t going well! Fidgeting, looking at other people, averting the eyes, leaning back, unaligned bodies send up red flags. So does a date whose legs, hips or shoulders are facing the exit.

Reading the silent messages can tell you more than words how to interpret that important first date.